Parenting Styles in the Philippines: What Type are You?
Countless studies have been done to know the different parenting styles and how these could affect children’s behavior. Over the years, various terms have been coined to describe the discipline styles parents use for their children. Apparently, as there are a lot of parenting categories, there are four main types that have surfaced.
Four Basic Typologies of Parenting Styles
Parenting styles in the Philippines vary for every family. Some came from the previous generations while others learned and developed a new strategy. Here are the most common parenting styles Filipino use.
Parents create absolute rules which their children have no option but to follow. In fact, these parents have rules for everything. There is no room for the child’s involvement, self-expression, and creativity. Children’s life obstacles are solely for the parents to solve, and the little ones have no right to question the formed solutions. Authoritarian parents are often using the phrase “Because I said so.”
Children’s life obstacles are solely for the parents to solve, and the little ones have no right to question the formed solutions. Authoritarian parents are often using the phrase “Because I said so.”
Permissive parents are lenient and usually step in if a serious problem arises. They give their children a lot of space for creativity and fun since they have a notion that they will always be kids. With a high tolerance for misbehavior, these parents do not discourage bad behavior and encourage their children to be more vocal about their feelings and problems. And unlike authoritarian parents, permissive let their kids get involved in major decision-making.
With a high tolerance for misbehavior, these parents do not discourage bad behavior and encourage their children to be more vocal about their feelings and problems. And unlike authoritarian parents, permissive parents let their kids get involved in major decision-making.
These parents often do not provide the basic needs of their children. There is very little touch of parental attention they even don’t know what is actually happening with their kids. There are little to no rules at all since they are not usually involved with every aspect of a child’s life.
Rules are created, but there are also some acceptable exceptions. Reasoning and consequences instead of punishments govern them. Consequences help children change their behavior to be better people, but punishment is a penalty that usually does not fix the wrong behavior. Authoritative parents are demanding but responsive at the same time. Parents also welcome the thoughts and feelings of their children.
5 Known Categories of Parenting Styles
The Philippines parenting style greatly affects the growth and development of their kids. Which among the Filipino parenting style are you?
There are authoritarian parents who will do anything to make their children successful, even if it means controlling everything in their lives. Full obedience is required, and questions are never welcome. As coined by Amy Chua in the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” she had described tiger parenting styles have a strong cultural background. These parents most likely had tiger parents as well, and they must also make their children successful as society begets them.
Since submissiveness is required from the children, there is no parent-child discussion. There is very little gray area (or none at all) for exceptions, only black and white world. Strict discipline is imposed, and non-compliance will only mean harsh punishment. “Kamay na bakal” is their style of discipline.
Children with tiger parents may grow up to be responsible and productive. However, they might also struggle with anxiety and depression as they were never given a chance to be themselves. Children may display low self-esteem and difficulty adjusting to change.
Helicopter parents may be referred to as over-parenting. They are always anxious about their children’s future and can’t stop watching them. They are too involved with their children’s lives that it becomes unhealthy and unhelpful. First coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay in their book “Parenting with Love and Logic,” helicopter parents are described as parents who are never far from their kids, always “hovering” around to look out for potential dangers, problems, or failures.
They do not trust their children’s decisions and ability to look after themselves. Parents in schools usually intervene with their children’s tasks or parts. They never want to see their kids commit mistakes; they will even do their kid’s school work as much as possible. While this may help avoid some problems, it takes away the children’s independence even as they become adults. They simply lose the ability to make decisions for themselves.
While this may help avoid some problems, it takes away the children’s independence even as they become adults. They simply lose the ability to make decisions for themselves.
It is a mixture of permissive and authoritarian. They at least let their children get a bit of fun as kids, but they are quick to swoop and take charge as soon as they see impending problems, and they expect their children to follow their orders to the point.
Growing up, their children might experience difficulty in controlling their behavior. Also, they might not have a sense of the basic consequences of their own actions.
Some parents would even bribe a coach to make their children part of the team. Some parents will even approach the principal to change their children’s teacher if they think there is a better one. These are bulldozer parents or parents who quickly take away hindrances to their children’s success.
Former high school teacher David McCullough coins them in his book “You are Not Special.” This parenting style thinks they have to move everything out of their kids’ way so they will not experience difficulty. Their children grow up with increased anxiety and a lack of determination to face failures as adults. As these children become employees, most would rather quit the job than work through the failure. Some may even become narcissistic because parents instill in their young minds the idea that their children are too great to fail.
Unlike the helicopter and bulldozer parents who are scared to let go of their children into the “wild world,” the free-range parents give freedom to their children to make decisions on their own. This type of parenting teaches the children skills much needed in life, and then they let them be on their own. However, this is more controversial in some places as some parents are accused of putting their children in danger. In the US, Free-Range Parenting Styles are under fire as some parents are accused of neglecting their children simply by letting them walk home unattended by a guardian.
Here in the Philippines, we usually see children riding bikes in their villages. We let children hang out with other kids, playing piko, tumbang preso, and patintero.
Some parents even ask their children to buy something from stores. A lot of parents even let their children go home from school alone or with their classmates who are also their neighbors.
We may say that most parents let their children roam all by themselves, but they also clearly limit where kids can go. Also, children are expected to tell their parents where they will go and at what time. We usually live in a tight-knit neighborhood where neighbors know each other and can look out for each other’s kids, though this depends on your community.
On the other hand, this will greatly depend on the family’s culture. Since our country is a melting pot of various cultures, we see various concepts under Free-Range Parents.
Most people would consider themselves free-range but give well-defined limits simultaneously. This will give their children a sense of responsibility for their actions, good self-esteem, and confidence.
Attachment parents believe that their children’s first attachment to their parents is the most important relationship for personal development. A majority od Filipino parenting style (especially moms) let their kids sleep with them, feed their babies, bathe them and give hugs and kisses.
This is when the children learn to trust, love and respect. Our country also is a serious advocate of breastfeeding as this gives babies proper nourishment and provides a strong bond between mom and child.
If a person has a close connection with his or her caregiver, they develop empathy, a good sense of safety, and self-worth. However, some parents might get lax with disciplining their children as they may want them to treat them as barkada.
Being a parent is never easy, it is usually accompanied by worry if you are raising your kids the right way. We love our children too much that “ni hindi sila madapuan ng lamok.”
However, we have to be careful about which parenting styles we will commit ourselves to because it greatly impacts how they will be in society outside our homes. Whether you use “palo” or any kind of discipline, let kids feel the love behind it.
Tell us which parenting style you are in and share your memorable experiences as a parent. Be more prepared to give and control your children with proper financial management. Let Cash Mart loan assist you in developing the most appropriate Filipino parenting style for you.