Cash Mart is one of the very few legal lending companies in Philippines that strictly operates independently where clients information are kept fully confidential and not distributed. In case of any issues or clarification, kindly contact us at (02) 829 0000 or hello@cashmart.ph

Parenting Styles in the Philippines: What Type are You?

Filled under: Family 
cashmart_blog-post_featured-image_parenting-styles

(Updated March 22, 2017)

Countless studies have been done to know the different types of parenting and how these could affect the children’s behavior. Over the years, various terms has been coined to describe the discipline styles parents use for their children. Apparently, as there are a lot of parenting categories, there are four main types which have surfaced.

Apparently, as there are a lot of parenting categories, there are four main types which have surfaced.

parenting-in-the-philippines-what-type-are-you

Share this Image On Your Site

Four Basic Typologies

  • Authoritarian

Parents create absolute rules which their children have no option but to follow. In fact, these parents have rules for everything. There is no room for the child’s involvement, self- expression, and creativity. Children’s life obstacles are solely for the parents to solve and the little ones have no right to question the formed solutions. Authoritarian parents are often using the phrase “Because I said so.”

Children’s life obstacles are solely for the parents to solve and the little ones have no right to question the formed solutions. Authoritarian parents are often using the phrase “Because I said so.”

  • Permissive

Permissive parents are lenient and usually steps in if serious problem arises. They give their children a lot of space for creativity and having fun since they have a notion that kids will always be kids. With a high tolerance for misbehavior, these parents do not discourage bad behavior and encourages their children to be more vocal of their feelings and problems. And unlike the authoritarian parents, the permissive let their kids get involve in major decision making.

With a high tolerance for misbehavior, these parents do not discourage bad behavior and encourages their children to be more vocal of their feelings and problems. And unlike the authoritarian parents, the permissive let their kids get involve in major decision making.

  • Neglectful

These parents often do not provide the basic needs of their children. There is very little touch of parental attention that they even don’t know what is actually happening with their kids. There is little to no rules at all since they are not usually involved with every aspect of a child’s life.

  • Authoritative 

Rules are created, but there are also some acceptable exceptions. They are governed by reasoning and consequences instead of punishments. Consequences helps the children change the behavior to be a better person, but punishment is a penalty that usually does not fix the wrong behavior. Autoritative parents are being demanding, but responsive at the same time. Parents also welcome the thoughts and feelings of their children.

Autoritative parents are being demanding, but responsive at the same time. Parents also welcome the thoughts and feelings of their children.

5 Known Parenting Categories

Tiger Parents

There are authoritarian parents who will do anything to make their child successful, even if it means controlling everything in their lives. Full obedience is required and questions are never welcome. Coined by Amy Chua in the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” she had described the tiger parenting as a style which has a strong cultural background.  These parents most likely had tiger parents as well, and they must also make their children successful as what the society begets. 

These parents most likely had tiger parents as well, and they must also make their children successful as what the society begets. 

Since submissiveness is required from the children, there is no parent-child discussion. There is very little gray area (or none at all) for exceptions, only black and white world. Strict discipline is imposed, and non-compliance will only mean harsh punishment. "Kamay na bakal" is their style of discipline.

Children with tiger parents may grow up to be responsible and productive, however they might also struggle with anxiety and depression as they were never given a chance to be themselves. Children may display low self-esteem and difficulty to adjust to change.

Helicopter Parents

Helicopter parents may be referred as over-parenting. They are always anxious about their children’s future that they can’t stop watching their kids. They are too involve with their children’s lives that it becomes unhealthy and unhelpful. First coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay in their book “Parenting with Love and Logic,” helicopter parents are described as parents who are never far from their kids, always “hovering” around to look out for potential dangers, problems or failures.

First coined by Foster Cline and Jim Fay in their book “Parenting with Love and Logic,” helicopter parents are described as parents who are never far from their kids, always “hovering” around to look out for potential dangers, problems or failures.

They do not trust their children’s decisions and ability to look after themselves. You usually see these parents in schools intervening with their children’s tasks or parts. They never want to see their kids commit mistakes that they will even do their kid’s school work as much as possible. While this may help avoid some problems, it takes away the children’s independence even as they become adults. They simply lose the ability to make decisions for themselves.

While this may help avoid some problems, it takes away the children’s independence even as they become adults. They simply lose the ability to make decisions for themselves.

It’s is a mixture of permissive and authoritarian. They at least let their children get a bit of fun as kids, but they are quick to swoop and take charge as soon as they could see impending problems and they expect their children to follow their orders to the point. Growing up, their children might experience difficulty to control their behavior and they might not have the sense of basic consequences from their own actions.

Growing up, their children might experience difficulty to control their behavior and they might not have the sense of basic consequences from their own actions.

Bulldozer Parents

There are some parents who would even bribe a coach to make their children part of the team. Some parents will even approach the principal to change their children’s teacher if they think there is a better one. These are bulldozer parents, or parents who are quick to take away hindrances of their children’s success.

They are coined by former high school teacher David McCullough in his book “You are Not Special.” This is a type of parents who think that they have to move everything out of their kids’ way so they will not experience difficulty. Their children grow with increased anxiety and lack of determination to face failures as an adult. As these children become employees, most of them would rather quit the job than work through the failure. Some may even become narcissistic because parents instill to their young minds the idea that their children are too great to fail.

Their children grow with increased anxiety and lack of determination to face failures as an adult. As these children become employees, most of them would rather quit the job than work through the failure. Some may even become narcissistic because parents instill to their young minds the idea that their children are too great to fail.

Free-Range Parents

Unlike the helicopter and bulldozer parents who are scared to let go of their children into the “wild world,” the free-range parents give freedom to their children to make decisions on their own. This type of parenting teaches the children skills much needed in life and then they let them be on their own. However, this is more controversial in some places as some parents are accused of putting their children in danger. In US, Free-Range Parenting is under fire as some parents are accused of neglecting their children simply by letting their kids walk home unattended by a guardian.

However, this is more controversial in some places as some parents are accused of putting their children in danger. In US, Free-Range Parenting is under fire as some parents are accused of neglecting their children simply by letting their kids walk home unattended by a guardian.

Here in the Philippines, we usually see children riding bikes in their villages. We let children hang out with other kids, playing piko, tumbang preso, and patintero.

Some parents even ask their children to buy something from stores. A lot of parents even let their children go home from school alone or with their classmates who are also their neighbors.

We may say that most parents may let their children roam all by themselves, but they also make clear limitations on where kids can go. Also, children are expected to tell their parents where they will go and until what time. We usually live in a tight knit neighborhood where neighbors know each other and can look out for each other’s kids, though this depends on your community area.

On the other hand, this will greatly depend on the family’s culture. Since our country is a melting pot of various cultures, we see various concepts under Free-Range Parents.

Most people would consider themselves free-range, but gives well defined limits at the same time. This will give their children the sense of responsibility to their actions, good self-esteem and confidence.

Attachment Parents

Attachment parents believe that their children’s first attachment to their parents is the most important relationship for personal development. Most Filipino parents (especially moms) let their kids sleep with them, they feed their babies, bathe them and give hugs and kisses.

This is when the children learn to trust, love and respect. Our country also is a serious advocate of breastfeeding as this not only give babies proper nourishment, but also provides a strong bond between mom and child.

It is said that if a person has a close connection with his or her caregiver, they develop empathy, a good sense of safety, and self-worth. However, some parents might get lax with disciplining their children as they may want their kids to treat them as barkada.

Being a parent is never easy, it is usually accompanied with worry if you are raising your kids the right way. We love our children too much that “ni hindi sila madapuan ng lamok.”

However, we have to be careful on which parenting style you will commit yourself with, because it has a great impact on how they will be in the society outside our homes. Whether you use “palo” or any kind of discipline, let kids feel the love behind it.

Tell us which parenting style you are in and share us your memorable experiences being a parent.

COPYRIGHT © 2017 CASH MART DESIGNED BY SEMBLITZ
MAKE AN ENQUIRY APPLY NOW